Routine is Good for Mental Health

and struggling when it's disrupted

Photo credit: Kaba on VisualHunt.com

I need structure in order to thrive. When I don’t have anything scheduled, I get bored and the negative thoughts begin and sometimes the depression sets in. Weekends are especially hard when my husband and I have nothing planned and wake up later. Here’s my basic schedule:

• get up

• walk on treadmill

• walk dogs

• get dressed

• crochet

• lunch

• write

• read

• dinner

• watch TV/read

• bed

Every weekday, at least, plus my chores. It’s pretty boring, but it works for me. I also have manicures, go to crochet club, and volunteer twice a month, and have weekly therapy. These appointments are on the same days and times. I take my medication and try to go to bed at the same times every day. I like making plans (like doctor appointments or volunteering or getting a new tattoo!) far enough in advance so I can be prepared.

When my routine is disrupted, as it is now, I tend to fall into a depressive episode. These past couple of weeks, I’ve been reading and workshopping nine manuscripts for a writing workshop taking place later this month. I do this during the time I’d normally work on my novel. The instructor-recommended critique process isn’t familiar to me, and as it is, I have a hard time workshopping because I always feel I don’t have anything important to say. Part of me regrets having applied, but I don’t want to give up and not go.

This has become overwhelming, and my body and mind are shutting down. I need help physically getting out of bed. I get tired easily. My husband picks out my clothes, and it’s all I can do not to wear pajamas all day. Forget about showering, which is the first to go when I’m feeling this way. Walk on the treadmill? Yeah, right.

I’m having a hard time not canceling plans. I’ve managed to go to my appointments, but it’s been tough. I don’t want to leave my house. I’m isolating even more than usual. I normally try to get out once a day even if it’s just for a walk.

At least I’m still looking forward to our plans later this month so I’m not feeling hopeless, and I’ve been pushing myself to get on the treadmill even if I just stand on it. Baby steps.