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Jude (they/them)'s avatar

I would read your book! There’s no way it’s trash. And I love the elaborated explanation of the job loss. It definitely helps understand what the character is feeling.

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Barb Natividad 🇵🇭🇺🇸's avatar

Thanks so much, Jude!

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Marjorie Apple's avatar

Good work. Showing vs telling is an interesting balancing act. I always ask myself if I want the reader to determine the situation for themselves or if they just need the facts. If I can express it efficiently without qualifying adjectives, I'll tell it. But if I want the reader to feel the scene (as in your example) or to draw conclusions, I will always show.. But showing takes 3 paragraphs vs one sentence, and therein lies the rub. Brava.

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Sharon Cortelyou's avatar

This really resonates with me. I look forward to hearing more about this and will have to consider working on this myself.

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Barb Natividad 🇵🇭🇺🇸's avatar

The book helped a LOT.

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Maria Luz O'Rourke's avatar

Way to go, Barb! To decide that this book is worth your time and energy, and to stick with it. I really enjoyed seeing this behind the scenes revision.

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